Deciding to have one child (and one child only) really has a way of working people up for some reason. Here are some snippets and images from my story. To read the full answers to the questions we talked about related to judgment, be sure to visit Courtney's site A Life From Scratch! Here we go. :)
“I think, like all mothers, I want what’s best for my daughter and I try my hardest to make her as happy and as fulfilled as possible. I’ve heard many moms say they are mama bears, and I would have to say I’m the same in the sense that I try to shield and protect her as much as I can while also trying to let loose so she can figure things out for herself. It’s a tough balance.”
“Isla (pronounced eye-lah) is my only child and we are not having any more children by choice. Many people seem shocked when I tell them we are not having more kids. People try to argue with me and some have tried to make me feel badly for not having more children. I’ve heard it all: she needs a playmate, you can’t leave the responsibility all on her to take care of you when you’re older, siblings are friends for life, she’s going to grow up to be spoiled. People act like I’m damaging her by not giving her a sibling, but I know in my heart of hearts that we are a complete family.”
“I guess I just don’t understand why people want to argue with me about my decision not to have more children. It literally has nothing to do with them. It’s pretty comical to me, actually. It’s like me trying to convince someone not to have more children by saying things like 'why would you ever split up your love between two children' or 'you know it’s going to cost a ton of money to have more than one child' or 'why would you give up your one-on-one time - you are taking valuable time away from them!' Sounds ridiculous, right?”
“For me, it’s a personal choice, but that’s not the case for everyone. What about women who can’t have more children for whatever reason even though they would love to welcome more babies into their families? I don’t think some people realize that it can be an extremely sensitive subject. Prying and questioning someone’s family size (even if it’s just out of curiosity) is just not appropriate, and women don’t owe any explanation for the amount of children in their family.”
“We moms are trying our best. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m sure most moms feel the same. My biggest joy as a mom is that it is fun every single day. I love being around Isla. I love hearing the things that come out of her mouth, and I love seeing what a beautiful person she is. She is kind and courageous and clever, she loves to laugh and to be the center of attention, and she has taught me so much. Granted, there are times when I lock myself in the bathroom to cry or eat M&Ms (or both), but it’s so worth it. It’s the best.”
I'd love for you to read the rest of our discussion on judgment with an only child! Please visit A Life From Scratch to get the full story. Thanks for visiting! See you soon when we feature the next mom.