I am so excited to introduce the next mom in my Mom in Focus series: Trisha. Trisha is the mom of an adorable little boy, Brooks, who she and her husband adopted from birth. Here are images from their session as well as snippets from her discussion on judgment related to adoption. Her entire discussion will be linked at the end. Thank you for taking part in the series, Trisha!
“Brooks is an energetic, empathetic, funny, intelligent, athletic boy! We had the blessing to meet him in the hospital with his birth mom the day after he was born. He came home to us three days later. His birth mother chose us to be his family in her third trimester. I love to see when he learns something new! My favorite time with my son is at night getting ready for bed; the quiet time and talks we have then. Plus, reading him a story and saying prayers together.”
”Our family and close friends are not the ones we feel judgement from for having a bi-racial family. Typically, it is strangers. People will ask (if my husband is not with us), “Does he look like his Dad?” I often will reply, “No”. They will typically follow it up with, “Why is he so dark?” or “Where is he from?” When the full story comes out, the next question is, “Are you teaching him Spanish?” His birth mom does not speak Spanish. And the clincher question, ‘Does he know he’s adopted?’”
“The judgment usually has to do with his race or why we did not have our own children. Then people want to know if he know he's adopted. Which is yes! As soon as he could talk we would talk about it with him. A lot of times people will say "I couldn't do it." Our family is not traditional and we knew it wouldn't be, but we love it anyway!”
"Initially, I felt inadequate and incompetent. NOW, I consider the source and take the opportunity to educate. Judgment is an opinion of “how it should be” and a lack of knowledge and understanding. This has made it more palatable when the questions come."
“For the moms out there, we are in this together. We all have different backgrounds, experiences that make our journey unique. Refrain from judgement until you know the whole story. You may not ever know it, so then offer a kind word or gesture. Judging is your opinion project on someone else.”
Thank you Trisha for sharing your story! To read Trisha's entire discussion on judgment, please visit A Life From Scratch and stay tuned for more mamas!