Please meet the newest Mom in Focus: Sheila! Sheila is a gorgeous mama of two darling boys (and my super sensational aunt)! Sheila talks about judgment she has felt for being an advocate for her sons’ needs. Here are some images from her session as well as some snippets from her full discussion on judgment (found linked at the bottom!).
“I had both of my sons through IVF. Alexander and Lincoln love and hate one another every hour or every day like most siblings. Alexander is 7 years old. He has special needs, and he needs cognitive therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and psychological assessments at home as well as at school. Lincoln is 5 years old. Physically Lincoln has developed at “normal” pace. Lincoln does have behavioral issues that have been worked on at school as well as at home with a therapist.”
“I have felt judged on many areas as being a mother. Here are a few examples. I have had a family member state that Alexander’s disabilities are due to the fact that I was “so old” when I had him. Second, another family member stated my son does not have anything wrong with him, he is a “typical boy” who does not need to see specialists. Third, I have been judged because I have put my kids in outside therapies that “are not needed.” Lastly, I have been judged on how many sons don’t behave well.”
“I have swallowed the hurt and persevered on to making certain I am getting the correct therapies, schooling, tests and care for my sons regardless of what the people think who have passed judgment on me and my kids. I have not had the greatest of moments trying to recover from these judgments and I know that I have not done everything correctly….no one has! I am learning as I go. I will fail, but from the failing is learning. That is what I am doing every day.”
“There have been many obstacles to overcome with being judged. Everyone judges. Because of these judgments I have felt hurt, abandoned, lonely, scared, doubtful of myself, uneducated, cried many a times, angry, as well as strong, determined, faithful to God, inspired, proud and encouraged. I have to be my children’s advocate. NO ONE ELSE will be!!!”
“A few things I would tell other moms: don’t give up, fail, never “mom” alone (find other moms to laugh, bitch with and at, go out with, to cry on their shoulder or be that shoulder for them, pray with, go to a movie with, discuss a book with, or just be silent with), therapist - get one, Facebook is a facade.”
Thank you so much for participating in our series Sheila! To read her entire discussion about judgment, please head on over to A Life From Scratch!